'Your love is most generous, where it is most hurtful'

Can you be friends with your ex without it affecting a new relationship? Honestly I don't think you can. Because what you had with that person will echo in your current relationship. Memories you shared will linger around you like a ghost. Innocent relationships you maintain will cast a shadow over the new ones you should be building. Your new partner is supposed to feel special, like the only person you will ever love. But how can they ever feel special when they are reminded that you have already experienced that love with somebody else? If you are truly ready to commit to a new relationship, then you need to sacrifice old romances. It's nice if you can be friends with your ex, but that's what they are, an ex. History.  A historical present doesn't exist, it's an oxymoron. The two words contradict each other.

'I loved her, I can't just forget that. Of course I will always be there for her.' 

Some may argue that there isn't any romance left in the old relationship, that they truly are just a friend. But as a girl (yes we are dramatic, Que Cian and Emily), I can't help but think you've been intimate with this person, you've loved this person, there was a time when you thought you may be together forever. You had experiences with this person that will stay with you both forever. You can't just forget that you loved someone. And now they're your friend? somebody you will always be there for? There has to be a certain amount of love left to still feel that endeared. Who comes first if your ex suddenly needs you? who's feelings do you sacrifice? It's a cruel kindness you're inflicting. Yes you're being a nice person because you're not holding on to any grudges, you still support this person, you're being kind. But you're also being cruel to your new love by reminding them that they're not special and that your loyalty is scattered. You've already experienced a love that you thought would be unbreakable, and that past love is still in your life.

'Your love is most generous where it is most hurtful'

If you truly are ready to commit to a new relationship, if you love them, then you owe them a clean slate. A world where your love is unique and irreplaceable. Not a love second to the one you had before. Your ex shouldn't be plastered all over your phone, it's OK to let them sit on your social media, but as an inactive contact. Don't message each other or like each others photos. Delete their number without your new partner having to ask. In the words of Elsa, LET IT GO. Why do you need to hang on to an old relationship, especially if it hurts your new partner? If you don't share children, there really is no excuse. If you find it hard to let go then you need to step back and figure out how you truly feel. Maybe there is unfinished business, and if so, do not lead somebody else on.

Maybe I am too loyal and empathetic or black and white and closed minded but I can't see a new love thriving when an old love is still casting a shadow.

Let me know what you think? Give me a new insight in the comments below :)

Dyson Supersonic Review

So recently I've been using the brand new and swanky Dyson Supersonic hair dryer!

Is it worth £299? Maybe...

I found it to be kinder to my hair as it didn't feel as hot as my usual go to Parlux hair dryer.

Watch my YouTube video for a full review:

The TRUTH behind a popular TV Talent Show

Ok so a year or two a go, I supported an act who got scouted for a popular TV talent show. Yes that's right I said scouted. They didn't particularly want to audition, which made the experience so much more frustrating.

Watch and find out what happened!

MAC Highlighter review

I'm giving that YouTube thing another go!

I personally love listening to reviews and getting to know a product before I buy it. I'm currently obsessed with highlighters (aren't we all) , so I thought I'd review a high end highlighter vs a high street brand. Is there really a difference when it comes to quality?

Watch and find out! :)

'Forgiving you is a gift to you, moving on is my gift to myself'

I've been going through such a change lately. There's nothing physically or materially different but I feel like i'm going through a spiritual cleanse. I don't know if it's a quarter life crisis or if it's a healthy progression, preparing me for my next lesson or journey.

The word change fills me with fear. Change is different, change is the unknown. I have always struggled to venture outside of my comfort zone because I've never wanted to sacrifice what I already have. But life is made up of changes, good and bad and sometimes you have no say in the matter.

I recently witnessed a betrayal which had an eye opening ripple effect. Their disloyalty was carefully shrouded in denial and secrecy in attempts to cure their guilty conscience . They span a false tale of innocence, disregarding their actions and their victim's feelings entirely. They began to believe their own lie, and so did the people around them. The victim was understandably left feeling deceived and lost. First came grief, then came anger but then arrived liberty. Like a phoenix who dies before they are reborn, the victim reinvented themselves from the ashes of  destruction. They started to remember their dreams and ambitions and truly began to feel at one with themselves.

They reminded me that sometimes a change is needed in order to complete your own life path. Sometimes, without even realising it, you outgrow people and situations which end up holding you back. If you grow too comfortable doing the wrong thing, something will happen to force a change. 

Everything happens for a reason, it's hard, but in order to move on from a tough situation, you need to focus on the positive.

Recently I've cut people out of my life, people i thought would be around forever, but not because I didn't want them there, it was because I realised that we just wasn't on the same level anymore. Things were different, we had different morals and views .
'Treat other how you wish to be treated yourself' is a healthy baseline for a friendship or relationship. But recently I was hurt by people I thought I could trust, it was a nastiness that brought me right back to the school playground, a young mentality I've desperately tried to move on from. I felt upset, angry and anxious of what will become of us or how I could overcome the situation until I realised that it didn't have to be this way, I didn't have to make excuses for them or fix anything, I didn't have to feel like I was 16 again desperate to keep my friends. So I closed that book and decided to let those people continue with their self destructive behaviour because I do believe that what goes around comes around.

Breaking up from any relationship is hard, but we all have to make a healthy decision. If this person causes you grief, or makes you feel bad in any way, then you need to assess if this person is a positive energy or negative energy in your life. Don't let people manipulate you! Quite often when somebody hurts you, but doesn't want to admit to it, they become defensive and will turn it around to make you feel like you're the one in the wrong which causes you to question yourself, let them back in and begin a destructive cycle. We can't live positive lives surrounded by negativity.
Hold on to your family and friends who have always shown you love and loyalty, but don't make excuses for those who have hurt you or the people around you.

xx