Stop Seeking Acceptance From People Who Are Committed to Not Accepting You

Anyone who has ever experienced peer pressure, usually at school, will probably know what it's like to not feel accepted. Unfortunately this feeling can follow you through to adulthood. The problem isn't with you or how you are as a person, it's because you've let yourself be defined by how other people treat you. I personally struggled with feeling accepted throughout school. Girls are the worst, they can decide to not like you for absolutely no reason. I constantly felt bad about myself because I wasn't getting invited to the parties my friends were going to and sometimes even my own friends would leave me out, like I had become an unpopular choice for absolutely no reason. Maintaining friendships through school was hell, absolute hell but it also taught me so much.

There comes a point, after about the 10th party or friend group gathering you're not invited to where you have to think - I don't care. It's emotionally exhausting to constantly fight for a friendship, to constantly act how you think they want you to act - Super friendly even when they've offended you, always starting the conversation first, inviting them out to places with you (which they're often too busy to go to anyway). You have to realise that these people are not your friends if they're making you feel rejected and left out. After years of desperately trying to fit in I thought 'OK, I can either carry on and feel heartbroken every time i'm left out of another gathering or party, or I can stop trying and see things for how they are.'  The moment I stopped trying to fit in, stopped texting them first, stopped inviting them to hang out with me I felt free. There was a point where I felt lonely and friendless, but I met new people who were on my wavelength, who taught me what a friendship should feel like - it shouldn't be hard work!

So when I now encounter people with the same attitude as the mean girls at school, I put on my emotional coats of armour. I'm polite, I'm friendly but I don't force a friendship. My friends are on my wave length, my friends message me first as much as I message them, my friends suggest meeting up instead of me always asking. That's what a healthy friendship is. Unfortunately I still see people trapped in this vicious cycle of needing to be accepted by toxic people. It's so not worth it! You are a lovable person, and you do not deserve to feel rejected. Focus on the people who make you feel good about yourself, who remind you of all your good traits and leave the others behind. Be mature, be friendly, be polite, but keep those toxic 'friends' at arms length. For the sake of your own happiness.

I found the following article very empowering, so if you are struggling with a toxic friendship take a read of this: The Huffington Post

Also check out my YouTube video where I talk about my struggles during school which lasted from about age 13- 18!

Close both eyes, to see with the other one.

I never thought I'd be writing a post like this. Because there was a time when believing in the paranormal got you labelled as a crazy person. People do not like what they can not explain so they joke about it and dismiss the idea. But so many people have experienced the paranormal, so much so that the whole idea is accepted these days. I definitely have witnessed a spiritual shift in the past few years. People are openly talking about visiting mediums like it's as normal as getting your nails done. Meditation is also now incredibly normal and encouraged where as a few years ago, people mocked the idea. 

I have grown up believing in the afterlife and believing in ghosts. Mainly because I was brought up in a spiritualist family. It's not a separate religion, it's just a different version of Christianity I suppose. A lot of mediums class themselves as Spiritualist Christians. I personally describe myself as a little bit Atheist and a little bit Christian but definitely a spiritualist. I believe in a heaven and an afterlife but I do not believe in the stories of Jesus or the bible. I believe that when we die we go to a place of peace, where we get to see our loved ones again. Where only our souls exist. I also believe in re-incarnation as do a lot of spiritualists. They say we experiences multiple lives to learn different lessons and if we fail to learn, we repeat a similar life again. There are actually a lot of documentaries on proof that re-incarnation exists, the whole idea fascinates me and it's something I've explored personally too. But i'm going to save that subject for a separate blog post and video. I just wanted to give you a brief explanation of my beliefs.

So growing up I would randomly see people standing around me for a flicker of a second. Sometimes it would be someone in the hallway, another time it was somebody watching me play with my dog in the garden. I would see them out of the corner of my eye, go to look at them but they wouldn't be there. But what was weird, was that I could describe their appearance and the expression on their face in so much detail. From their hair colour to the items of clothing they were wearing. One particular spirit, the one who was watching me play with my dog, I believe was my great grandfather. He was wearing clothing from the 1940s/50s and when I described his appearance to my mum, she said it sounded like her Grandfather. I never felt scared when I saw these random people. I instinctively knew they weren't evil, more like passers by who were not used to being seen. Later I developed the ability to hear ghosts. I was a teenager by this point. I begun hearing voices which sounded like two or more people having a conversation but I couldn't hear what they were saying, they were quiet and muffled, like i'd tuned into a radio station with a poor signal. But later I went on to hear voices which I mistook to be real (physical) people. Not by choice, none of my experiences were through deliberately trying to connect. 

Usually if you are open to experiencing the paranormal, you often have a very good sense of intuition. I have always had an uncanny way of predicting the future. Sadly in a negative way, I can always sense when something is going to go wrong or if something is already wrong. So many times I've asked people to double check their plans because I've had a feeling that something had changed and I would always turn out to be right. I believe that my intuition is often spiritual, like somebody is telling me what's really going on. I've even caught out liars because I've been told what to say to them to get them to crack. It's absolutely insane, I love it. It feels like I always have somebody looking out for me. I do try to deliberately connect with loved ones, or my spirit guide but I've never been able to get to that level mediums achieve. I just get the odd message or a sign through meditation and dreams. 

I have storytime videos up on my Youtube channel which explains my most surreal paranormal experiences. So take a look and feel free to get in touch. Have you experienced similar things to me? What are your beliefs?

>See my paranormal playlist here<